Random Survey...

* . . About You . . *

Eye Color: hazel
Hair Color: dark brown
Height: 5'2''
Favorite Color: blue
Screen Name: mbutterfly0823
Favorite Band: don't have a "fav"
Favorite Movie: Sweet Home Alabama
Favorite Show: Smallville
Your Car: Chevy Cavalier
Your Hometown: Mayo,SC
Your Present Town: Same
Your Grade: don't have one
Your Style: whatever is comfortable


* . . Have You Ever . . *

Sat on your rooftop? no
Kissed someone in the rain? yea
Danced in a public place? yea
Smiled for no reason? yea
Laughed so hard you cried? yea
Peed your pants after age 8? uh...idk...maybe
Written a song? no
Sang to someone for no reason? no
Performed on a stage? yea
Talked to someone you don't know? yea how else do you get to know them? duh...
Gone out of your way to befriend someone? maybe..
Made out in a theatre? no
Gone roller skating since 8th grade? yea did for the first time this past summer at Family Camp
Been in love? yea

* . . Who was the last person to . . *

Say HI to you? uh mama i think
Tell you, I love you? mama
Kiss you? Patrick
Hug you? Patrick
Tell you BYE? Patrick
Write you a note? who knows...
Take your photo? i dunno...
Call your cell phone? mama
Buy you something? Patrick bought me coffee last night
Go with you to the movies? Patrick
Sing to you? idk
Write a poem about you? don't think anyone has...
Text message you? idk
Touch you? Patrick

* . . What's the last . . *

Time you laughed? when i was tickled to death last night
Time you cried? the other night; my hip was killing me
Movie you watched? idk prolly something at Patrick's
Joke you told? idk
Song you've sang? idk
Time you've looked at the clock? a minute ago
Drink you've had? green tea
Number you've dialed? idk...either to home or to Patrick
Book you've read? read some of Twilight
Food you've eaten? ate some chocolate cake a while ago getting ready to find something real to eat
Flavor of gum chewed? trident white the blue kind
Shoes you've worn? black tennis shoes
Store you've been in? idk....walmart?
Thing you've said? I'm hungry..


* . . Can You . . *

Write with both hands? not well
Whistle? yea
Blow a bubble? yea
Roll your tongue in a circle? yea
Cross your eyes? yea
Touch your tongue to your nose? no
Dance? not well
Gleek? huh?
Stay up a whole night without sleep? no
Speak a different language? a little spanish...
Impersonate someone? not well
Prank call people? i can haven't in a while tho...
Make a card pyramid? no
Cook anything? yea usually; especially if I have a recipe


* . . Finish The Line . . *

If i were a ... more motivated person
I wish ... I had a job so I could pay off my bills...
So many people don't know that ... idk
I am ... tired
My heart is ... doing pretty good

My First Attempt at Poetry...

I know I’m suppose to be happy that you’re moving on,

But a part of me deep down inside sank when I saw you were no longer alone.

I mean I want you to be happy but does it have to hurt so much?

I know I need to move on but a part of me still longs for your touch.

You seemed so okay seeing me with another,

A part of me wanted you to be jealous and seem just a little bothered.

But you had already moved on and only wanted my happiness.

I guess its time for me to let the past be the past and forget this whole mess.

I deserve to be happy and without you I will move on,

What we had is now forever gone.

Now I don’t promise to be happy when I see you with her,

But know that I do care for you and happiness you deserve.

Now I don’t know exactly how and when,

But I will be okay, I will be happy, and I will truly love again.

Some good Journey lyrics...

Never Walk Away

So young in love
They couldn't wait
Said their vows
Just to run away
Suddenly, they felt their lives had changed

They believed their hearts
Were strong
Just to find
They couldn't get along
They didn't care
It slowly (falls or comes) undone

[Chorus:]
Will she go or will she stay (will she stay)
Pull herself (through or for) one more day
Don't give up
Never walk away
Love's a promise that he made
In his heart it still remains
Don't give up
Never walk away

Had to meet somewhere half way
Heart to heart
Face to face
Compromise the price they had to pay
Cared enough to stand on ground
Screamed and shouted 'til the walls came down
Won the fight
Still a brand new day

[Chorus 2x]

Never walk away
Oh, oh (never walk away)
Never walk away

___________________________

Like a Sunshower

Girl, tell me what's wrong
Are those tears in your eyes
What's going on between us
I'm ready to listen
I don't care if it takes all night

We both said something we didn't mean
We lost our heads
Now I can't sleep
'Til you talk to me

We find the sun through the rain
Caught in a sunshower
We'll be all right, no one's to blame
After the storm, we'll shine
So rare you and me disagree
Love's like a sunshower

When you meet me, babe
Somewhere halfway, yeah

It's been way too long
Since we shared what's in our hearts
Let's say this charade is over
Ooh, we can't take for granted
How far we've come
Let's not lose each other

I know you care, 'cause you stand your ground
When we talked enough
I wanna make up
Wanna make love

We find the sun through the rain
Caught in a sunshower
We'll be alright
No one's to blame
After the storm, we'll shine
So rare you and me disagree
Love's like a sunshower

Baby, babe
Somewhere we'll find
We won't regret
We won't forget
Rainbows wait for you and me
Girl, we're caught in a sunshower

When we've talked enough
Can we make up
Can we make love, ooh
Yeah

_______________________

Where Did I Lose Your Love

Desperately falling
Feeling our love set us free
We were better together
Believed it was all meant to be
Stay as one forever
The band of gold would always prevail
Happy in the moment
Life betrays one, a fairytale
Memories time cannot erase
I still see your face

Where did I lose your love
You'll always be the question in my heart
How could I make you stay
I still regret the night you walked away
What we shared was not enough
Where did I lose your love

Never saw it coming
You left so suddenly
What was here that scared you
You want what I couldn't see
Emotions time cannot erase
I still see your face

Where did I lose your love
You'll always be the question in my heart
How could I make you stay
I still regret the night you walked away
What we shared was not enough
Where did I lose your love

So far from each other
So close to happiness
I'll be there to remind you
Love forgives but never forgets
Emotions time cannot erase
I still see your face

Where did I lose your love
You'll always be the question in my heart
How could I make you stay
I still regret the night you walked away

How could I make you stay
Where did I lose your love
Still regret the night you walked away
Oh, oh, yeah

___________________________

Faithfully

Highway run
Into the midnight sun
Wheels go round and round
You're on my mind
Restless hearts
Sleep alone tonight
Sending all my love
Along the wire

They say that the road
Ain't no place to start a family
Right down the line
It's been you and me
And lovin' a music man
Ain't always what it's supposed to be
Oh, girl, you stand by me
I'm forever yours
Faithfully

Circus life
Under the big top world
We all need the clowns
To make us smile
Through space and time
Always another show
Wondering where I am
Lost without you

And being apart
Ain't easy on this love affair
Two strangers learn to fall in love again
I get the joy of rediscovering you
Oh, girl, you stand by me
I'm forever yours
Faithfully

Whooa, oh-oh-ooh
Whooa, oh-oh-ooh, oh
Whooa, oh-oh-oh, oh-whoooooa-oh
Faithfully
I'm still yours

I'm forever yours
Ever yours
Faithfully

____________________________

Any Way You Want It

Any way you want it
That's the way you need it
Any way you want it
She loves to laugh
She loves to sing
She does everything
She loves to move
She loves to grove
She loves the lovin' things
Ooh, all night, all night
Oh, every night
So hold tight, hold tight
Ooh, baby, hold tight
Oh, she said,

Any way you want it
That's the way you need it
Any way you want it
She said, Any way you want it
That's the way you need it
Any way you want it

I was alone
I never knew
What good love could do
Ooh, then we touched
Then we sang
About the lovin' things

Ooh, all night, all night
Oh, every night
So hold tight, hold tight
Ooh baby, hold tight
Oh, she said,

Any way you want it
That's the way you need it
Any way you want it
She said, Any way you want it
That's the way you need it
Any way you want it

______________________________

Seperate Ways


Here we stand
Worlds apart
Hearts broken in two, two, two
Sleepless nights
Losing ground
I'm reaching for you, you, you

Feelin' that it's gone
Can't change your mind
If we can't go on
To survive the tide
Love divides

Someday love will find you
Break those chains that bind you
One night will remind you
How we touched
And went our separate ways
If he ever hurts you
True love won't desert you
You know I still love you
Though we touched
And went our separate ways

Troubled times
Caught between confusions and pain, pain, pain
Distant eyes
Promises we made were in vain
In vain, vain

If you must go
I wish you love
You'll never walk alone
Take care my love
Miss you love

Someday love will find you
Break those chains that bind you
One night will remind you
How we touched
And went our separate ways
If he ever hurts you
True love won't desert you
You know I still love you
Though we touched
And went our separate ways

[Instrumental Interlude]

Oooooooooh
Someday love will find you
Break those chains that bind you
One night will remind you
If he ever hurts you
True love won't desert you
You know I still love you

I still love you, girl
I really love you, girl
And if he ever hurts you
True love won't desert you
Nooooooooo
Nooooooooo

_______________________

Open Arms

Lying beside you
Here in the dark
Feeling your heart with mine
Softly you whisper
You're so sincere
How could our love be so blind
We sailed on together
We drifted apart
And here you are
By my side

So now I come to you
With open arms
Nothing to hide
Believe what I say
So here I am
With open arms
Hoping you'll see
What your love means to me
Open arms

Living without you
Living alone
This empty house seems so cold
Wanting to hold you
Wanting you near
How much I wanted you home

But now that you've come back
Turned night into day
I need you to stay

So now I come to you
With open arms
Nothing to hide
Believe what I say
So here I am
With open arms
Hoping you'll see
What your love means to me
Open arms

__________________________

Stresses in my life...

Don't you hate it when everything seems to pile up all at once? And when you finally get something accomplished and want to celebrate you only realize it was barely a drop in the bucket compared to all you have to do. You can celebrate all of 5 seconds and then move onto the next project.

This is how I've felt a lot lately. Student Teaching has gotten me down. I seem to be stressed all the time. I don't have a social life. If I do hang out with friends I feel as though I get even farther behind. But I've gotten to the point lately where I don't even feel like doing this junk anymore. I miss my old happy free-spirited life. I don't like this so called "adulthood". It stinks! I don't like all this pressure and stress. I just don't feel like I've been myself for weeks. I can't wait until I can relax and have fun again. I'll be glad when I don't have to plan several weeks in advance, type of 3 page lesson plans all the time, study (bc as it turns out I never really learned the stuff I have to teach now), go to bed early, get up crazy early, etc. I feel like I've been in a fog. I smiled the other night and my bf said "I think that's the first time you have smiled in weeks." While that's not completely true its pretty durn close.

I just want to say I'm sorry to all my friends you have been through student teaching. I'm sorry I never understood why ya'll were so stressed out and not yourselves. ST puts a huge strain on all facets of your life. It often makes you depressed and you don't feel like doing anything. I'm sorry if I put anymore stress in your lives....this is an experience you can't truly understand until you go through it...so to my friends I'm sorry...I can't wait to see the other side of this stressful situation!!! Only 3 months left!!! (and only 2 of those months are Student teaching!!!) yay!!!!

The one thing I really miss is not having someone around all the time thats been through what I'm going through. Sometimes its good to vent to someone who's been there. While I can vent to other they can't truly understand. I really miss having my close friends here who have gone through this.....

I think that's all for now....maybe more to come later

<><><

My Wish For You

This is my wish for you...you know who you are ;)

My Wish
By: Rascal Flats

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
and each road leads you where you wanna go,
and if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
if it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile.
But more than anything, more than anything...

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but you never forget,
all the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
and you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
and always give more than you take.
But More than anything, yeah, more than anything...

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish. Yeah.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

Eventhough we've had some rough times in the past and aren't together anymore I still wish the best for you...You will always hold a special place in my heart....

This week...

Well this week was my first week of student teaching. I had staff development monday, tuesday, and wednesday. School started yesterday. Well lets just say yesterday was a long difficult day. The premade seating arrangement did not work at all in one part of the room. The back group had talking problems all day long. So today we seperated 'em all out and things were a lot better. There were still some problems but way less than yesterday.

Next week I'm still at 0% but the following week I take up 20% which she figured out to be morning work (lunch choices, attendance, calendar time, etc) and morning explorations (science and/or social studies activities that go along with the later science and social studies activities. The next week I'll do the same and then add another subject and being in charge of them during recess. The following week I continue to add more stuff....so yea it's gonna be a long semester.

The thing I don't really like is I don't feel like I actually live on campus anymore. I only went to dinner one night in the cafeteria this week. I feel like I haven't really seen anybody this week. I barely get to see my roomates, I have to get up really early, and don't get home till after 5 in the afternoon. Then I only get to hang out a few hours then I have to head to bed or I'll be dead tired the next day. I really haven't gotten to hang out with many of my other friends either. Most of them have been really busy and I haven't seen them in a few weeks. I miss just relaxing and hanging out with them. I guess this all is just a sign of moving into the real world. I mean my semester hasn't even really gotten started yet. It's only going to get more stressful.

Well me and a bunch of friends are heading to spartanburg tomorrow morning to help jaime and william do some work in their house they are remodeling. Then we're heading back here to SWU tomorrow afternoon. I really need to get some stuff done and do some studying for my Praxis II test I have to take in just a couple of weeks.

I'll be glad when I actually get into a daily routine in the classroom and feel as though I know what is going on and what will happen next. I will be glad when we can get our class under control and they actually listen. I'll be glad when I have several big projects behind me and can just enjoy being in the classroom.

I had a pretty good birthday yesterday. I had several friends wish me a great day and I really appreciate it. I had to go to school all day but then the roomies through me a little surprise bday party. Then of course i had to go to bed again.

Well I think that is all for now... maybe I'll blog again soon :) bye all

Random...

I feel old! All of my friends are either getting married, getting engaged, having kids, in serious relationships, have full-time jobs, or are moving far away. It's scary. Everyone around me is entering the "Real World". I know I am next. It all sort of freaks me out. I thought I was ready for the real world but what if I'm not? I'm not sure if I'm ready to be a teacher in a few months, I'm not sure if I can handle all that pressure, stress, and everything. I have seen what this new pressure has done to people. I have seen it confuse them to the point where they have no clue what they want in life and ending up throwing everything away in search of "something".

My recent relationship change has thrown me for a whirlwind too.. I went from being 100% sure I had found my match to not knowing anything. I thought I knew everything about this person but I ended up realizing I was only fooling myself. Now I'm worried that I will miss it when my true one comes along. How will I ever trust myself to fall for another and believe that he is the one meant only for me? How will I convince myself that it is real and not another "Illusion of the heart". How will I ever trust myself to fully love again? How will I convince myself to give all of me to "him"? Won't I be afraid he will leave too?

I'm ready to find that one...that one made only for me. The one who will be a daily encourager. The one who will tell me whats on his mind no matter if it hurts at the moment. The one who will make me feel special and loved and safe and happy. The one who will be a protector. The one who won't mind playing around and having fun but also know how to be serious and tell me whats on his mind. The one who will love me no matter what life throws our way. My life has taken many different twisted paths.. I thought you were my destination yet you turned out to be only a detour on my broken road... Now I have to patiently wait for God to lead my broken road to My One True Soul Mate... ~*~*Patiently Waiting~*~*

Man it's been a while...

I can't believe it's been almost 2 years since I've posted! I kinda forgot about this thing but I'm bored and we know where boredom leads..lol... Now where to start... A lot has happened in two years... hmmmm I'll make a list:

* I've finished two more years at SWU
* I was engaged but God had other plans.. so I'm currently single and waiting for my "One" to come along
* I'm a Super Senior at SWU (5th semester)
* I graduate in December!
* I start student teaching this month at J.N. Kellett Elementary
* I will probably get a job in either Pickens or Oconee County (I am more connections down here than Spartanburg county)
* I am going to be living in the apartments this semester with Kim Fowler and Tasha Ross and a new girl..exciting!
* I am scared to death of student teaching...I don't wanna screw some kids up!
* I have a ton due this semester and soon!
* I have student teacher orientation next week
* SWU starts the 21st

Ok...thinks thats a pretty good start.... more to come later!

Bye All

100 things about me..

HAVE YOU EVER...
1. Kissed your cousin?: no
2. Run away?: no
3. Pictured your crush naked?: not really
4. Skipped school?: yep
5. Broken someone's heart?: yep
6. Been in love?: yep
7. Cried when someone died?: yeah
8. Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have?: yeah
9. Broken a bone?: yep my ankle
10. Done something embarrassing?: of couse. this is me we're talkin about.
11. Lied?: sadly yeah. but i have asked for forgiveness for it.
12. Cried in school?: yeah

WHICH ONE [IS BETTER]...
13. Coke or Pepsi?: pepsi
14. Sprite or 7UP?: Sprite
15. Girls or guys?: guys
16. Flowers or candy?: both
17. Scruff or clean-shaved?: clean-shaved
18. Blondes or brunettes?: brunettes
19. B****y or slutty?: none
20. Tall or short?: Taller than me
21. Pants or shorts?: i like both
22. Night or day?: night

DO YOU EVER...
49. Sit by the phone waiting for a phone call? yeah
50. Save AIM conversations?: sadly yeah
51. Save e-mails?: yep
52. Forward secret e-mails?: nope
53. Wish you were someone else?: sometimes but not usually.
54. Wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: nope
55. Wear perfume?: yep
56. Kiss?: yep
57. Cuddle?: yes
58. Go online for longer than eight hours at a time?: well here at SWU my computer stays on all day.
60. Made out with JUST a friend?: no
61. Kissed two people in the same day?: no
62. Had sex with two different people in the same day? nope
63. Been rejected? yep
64. Been in love?: yes
65. Been in lust?: nope
66. Used someone?: nope
67. Been used? no
68. Dumped someone?: yep
69. Been cheated on?: no
70. Back-doored it?: no
71. Done something you regret?: yep

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...
72. You touched? Tim
73. You talked to?: Tim
74. You hugged?: Tim (I just came back in from talkin to him so that's why everything above is tim..i'm not obsessed or anything i just love him from the bottom of my heart)
75. You instant messaged?: Rachel
76. You kissed?: Tim
77. You yelled at?: Tasha
78. You dreamed about?: uh....i dunno. I'm sure tim was in it somewhere.
79. Who text messaged you?: Brent M. (a long time ago...i don't really text message)
80. Who broke your heart?: rather not disclose that info. J.S.B.
81. Who told you they loved you?: Tim

DO YOU...
82. Color your hair?I highlighted it for the first time this summer. two of my friends were doing it so i decided to try it.
83. Have tattoos? no
84. Have piercings?: one
86. Own a webcam?: yep
88. Ever get off the computer?: yeah I've gotta sleep sometime but then i usually leave it on..lol
89. Sprechen sie Deutsch?: kein popo slogen. (i just said ''no butt hitting''...long story don't ask...so no not really)
90. Habla español?: si hable espanol un poco91. Buy designer brand stuff?: yeah

HAVE YOU / DO YOU / ARE YOU...
92. Stolen anything?: nope
93. Smoke?: nope
95. Obsessive?: not really
96. Compulsive?: nope
97. Obsessive compulsive?: nope
98. Panic?: yeah when i have a project due the next morning and i've barely started on it.
99. Anxiety?: when i'm stressed out
100. Stressed?: usually

JUST A RANDOM SURVEY I DECIDED TO FILL OUT....