Random...
I feel old! All of my friends are either getting married, getting engaged, having kids, in serious relationships, have full-time jobs, or are moving far away. It's scary. Everyone around me is entering the "Real World". I know I am next. It all sort of freaks me out. I thought I was ready for the real world but what if I'm not? I'm not sure if I'm ready to be a teacher in a few months, I'm not sure if I can handle all that pressure, stress, and everything. I have seen what this new pressure has done to people. I have seen it confuse them to the point where they have no clue what they want in life and ending up throwing everything away in search of "something".
My recent relationship change has thrown me for a whirlwind too.. I went from being 100% sure I had found my match to not knowing anything. I thought I knew everything about this person but I ended up realizing I was only fooling myself. Now I'm worried that I will miss it when my true one comes along. How will I ever trust myself to fall for another and believe that he is the one meant only for me? How will I convince myself that it is real and not another "Illusion of the heart". How will I ever trust myself to fully love again? How will I convince myself to give all of me to "him"? Won't I be afraid he will leave too?
I'm ready to find that one...that one made only for me. The one who will be a daily encourager. The one who will tell me whats on his mind no matter if it hurts at the moment. The one who will make me feel special and loved and safe and happy. The one who will be a protector. The one who won't mind playing around and having fun but also know how to be serious and tell me whats on his mind. The one who will love me no matter what life throws our way. My life has taken many different twisted paths.. I thought you were my destination yet you turned out to be only a detour on my broken road... Now I have to patiently wait for God to lead my broken road to My One True Soul Mate... ~*~*Patiently Waiting~*~*
My recent relationship change has thrown me for a whirlwind too.. I went from being 100% sure I had found my match to not knowing anything. I thought I knew everything about this person but I ended up realizing I was only fooling myself. Now I'm worried that I will miss it when my true one comes along. How will I ever trust myself to fall for another and believe that he is the one meant only for me? How will I convince myself that it is real and not another "Illusion of the heart". How will I ever trust myself to fully love again? How will I convince myself to give all of me to "him"? Won't I be afraid he will leave too?
I'm ready to find that one...that one made only for me. The one who will be a daily encourager. The one who will tell me whats on his mind no matter if it hurts at the moment. The one who will make me feel special and loved and safe and happy. The one who will be a protector. The one who won't mind playing around and having fun but also know how to be serious and tell me whats on his mind. The one who will love me no matter what life throws our way. My life has taken many different twisted paths.. I thought you were my destination yet you turned out to be only a detour on my broken road... Now I have to patiently wait for God to lead my broken road to My One True Soul Mate... ~*~*Patiently Waiting~*~*
posted by Maria Lowe @ 11:43 PM
1 Comments:
At August 12, 2007 at 2:23 PM,
Trey Bentley said…
Maria, I know that it's hard, but most all of us have been in the same situation a few times at least. I just want to encourage to keep holding on and trusting God! I'm sure that you've been told time and time again, and you know, that it will happen in God's timing. You may not find "the One" until you start teaching; but until he comes along, my recommendation is to be happy being single for the time being!
Hang in there!
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